Thursday, October 29, 2009

Habit 4 - Think "Win-Win"

I know what you may be thinking, "Win-Win in sports? How can that happen?" Competition in sports means a person or team either wins or loses. The concept of "Win-Win" really has nothing to do with the score, but in how you play the game. You can win the score, but loose the (sportsmanship) game.

How you play the game does matter in the long haul.

Think Win-Win teaches that the win-lose scenario has the attitude that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece, then someone else gets the small piece. This person always has to win, appear to be the best, be on top, have the last word and is always right. Relationships, friendships, and loyalty are all secondary to winning the game, being the best, and having it your way. But in the end, win-lose strategy usually backfires. You may end up on the top of the totem pole, but you will be there alone with no friends or supporters.

The lose-win scenario makes you a doormat. Pretty much the only thing you are good for is to wipe your feet on. Its only purpose is to serve, be abused and get nothing out of the relationship. This does not mean avoid being a servant. A lose -win is fine if the issue is not that important to you. Just make sure you stand up for things that matter most.

The lose-lose scenario is a downward spiral. It is about revenge and getting back at someone who hurt you or someone close to you. It is much easier to seek revenge than to grant forgiveness. Lose-lose is not about winners, but losers. You need to decide which team you would rather be on.

Win-Win seeks to find the best in each person. Win the game graciously, lose the game with humilty. To Win means:
  • Playing your best whether you have the best score or not.
  • Acknowledging that someone or a team played better on that day is honorable.
  • You may not be satisfied with the score or your performance, but do not take it out on someone else.
  • Take responsibility, evaluate what you need to do to prepare better next ime, set some goals and press on to be your best.

Relationship Bank Account

Do you want to have a better relationship with your parents? teachers? friends? family?, invest in the Relationship Bank Account (RBA). You make deposits that strengthen a relationship and withdrawls that hurt a relationship. The balance represents the amount of trust in your releationship.
A deposit you would like from someone, most likely will be different that a deposit you make with your parents. For example: a deposit with your parents would mean taking out the garbage or making your bed in the morning. You would see a deposit as, being able to stay up later to watch a TV show, or being allowed to spend the night at a friends house.

Understand what is important to them
Tell the truth
Do the right thing
Do little things that no one may know about
Acts and words of kindness
Assume you know what is important, and miss
Lie and cover up
Wait till you are told
Forget to do something for someone
Acts and words or criticism or humiliation

The bottom line is to treat others as you would want to be treated. Put other's needs before your own. Show respect to everyone, even when you have been mistreated. Your character will stand out, people will notice and begin to do the same to you.